ADHD Awareness & Education

3 Facts Everyone Should Know About ADHD 

It's #ADHDAwarenessMonth, so we thought we should share the top 3 basic facts we wished people understood about #ADHD, with help from an expert, Dr. Russell Barkley.  

1.  Yes, ADHD IS a legitimate Disability.  

Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.  

ADHD has nothing to do with having too much sugar, too much screen time, or not enough discipline.  Some ill-informed (or uneducated) people try to brush it off as "he just needs more exercise".  No.  An ADHD brain is wired differently from other brains, and a sugar-free, gluten-free, screen-free diet is never going to change that.  

    ADHD is a chronic (meaning life-long), developmental disability. 

Dr. Russell Barkley explains it better than we can 

(YouTube video below, or tap here on mobile): 

Note:  Dr. Russell Barkley has some very strong opinions on ADHD.  Being a psychiatrist, he focuses on the medical model, which can sometimes come across as quite pessimistic.  Please take what you need from the information he presents and leave the rest.  Dr. Barkley has such a wealth of information about ADHD, it's worth sitting through a few statements that you may find disagreeable.  

An ADHD brain is wired differently from other brains.
No sugar-free, gluten-free, screen-free diet is ever going to change that.  

2.  "Attention Deficit" is a misnomer 

    (in other words, it's a stupid name, and Dr. Russell Barkley agrees with me)

(YouTube video below, or tap here on mobile)

 

3.  ADHD is a disorder of regulation, and it is NOT a deficit in knowledge.  

ADHD is difficulty with emotional regulation, physical regulation, and attentional regulation.

(YouTube video below, or tap here on mobile): 

ADHD is an incredibly complex disorder that is too often oversimplified as "trouble sitting still" or "difficulty paying attention".  To learn more click here for a more in-depth blog post called 7 Ways ADHD is Misunderstood.  

ADHD impacts so many aspects of peoples' lives and the fact that ADHD is stigmatized and misunderstood makes life that much more difficult for those who have it.  

About the Author

Jillian is an ADHD 2e Coach and Child Advocate in Manitoba, Canada.

Jillian has a diploma in Child & Youth Work and a Degree in Psychology, as well as being the parent of an amazing 2e/ADHD child.

Visit ADHDPro.ca and Facebook.com/ADHD2ePro to learn more.

If you need help educating your child's school, your family, or with general ADHD coaching or advocacy, please feel free to contact us.  

My Child Was Diagnosed, Now What?

My Child Was Just Diagnosed As Neurodiverse... Now What Do I Do?  

First, take some time to digest and process this news.  

Breathe.  Call a friend.  Have a glass of wine.  Go for a jog.  Whatever your self-care is, do that first.  

Ok, now, let me tell you something about your child's diagnosis that you may not realize:  This is a good thing.  Seriously. 

Your child is exactly the same person they were before they received their diagnosis, it changes nothing about who they are.  They already knew they were different, and so did you, otherwise you wouldn't have pursued the assessment.  This diagnosis can provide some answers, understanding, and insight.  

What a diagnosis can also do is open doors to resources and supports that a child may need to be on a level playing field with their peers.  Once given these appropriate accommodations, both you and your child may begin to see what they are capable of.  This is so important because this is when they start to see their own strengths.  Many neurodiverse children struggle with low self-esteem because of all of the corrections and criticism they receive, so opportunities for them to shine are imperative.  

This new information provides an opportunity for adults in the child's life to educate themselves so they can better understand the child's unique needs, challenges, and strengths.  Seek evidence-based information on your child's neurodivergence and learn about how to best support them.  We have a blog post with book and podcast recommendations if you're looking for a good place to start.  There are also online communities of parents of differently wired children where you may find other parents and families with similar experiences.  

 

What Do I Tell My Child?  

A lot of parents wonder if they should even tell their child about their diagnosis, especially if they are quite young.  While each family will have to make their own decision based on what they think is best for their child, our advice is usually: yes.  Once you've had an opportunity to process the information, tell your child.  Chances are they already feel different and don't understand why.  This could help put things into perspective for them.  Many children blame themselves for being different, especially if they have been getting into trouble at school, at home, or in social situations.  It's important for neurodiverse children to understand they are not less than anyone else, it is not their fault that they've been struggling, they were simply born with a brain that works differently from many others.  

The good news is now that we know more about our differences, we can develop strategies to let the strengths shine through.  Remember to explain that our differences come with both challenges and gifts; there will be both pros and cons to having a different brain.  ADHD2e also has a blog post outlining some of the other ways in which getting a diagnosis can be helpful.  

If you're not sure how to explain the diagnosis to your child, seek the assistance of a professional.  The professional who did the assessment may be able to help you with finding age- and developmentally-appropriate ways to explain their findings with your child.  

 

What Happens Next? 

Once you've had time to sort through this information as a family, the next step is likely to inform your school.  If a school psychologist did the assessment, they can help provide information and recommendations to the school team.  If your child has been struggling at school, this is a good time for the school team to outline those specific struggles and how they will support and accommodate your child and meet their needs.  This should be a collaborative process with input from the classroom teacher, the resource teacher, the school psychologist, and the parents.  Depending on the student's age and comfort level, they may meet separately with the parent and teacher and/or the resource teacher, so that the child's experiences and wishes can be heard.  If not, the parent can discuss the child's goals at home and share them with the school team on their behalf.  Whatever way it happens, it is very important to give the student a voice and allow them to have some input into their support planning.    

Depending on the level of support and accommodations needed, the school team may develop an IEP/SSP for the student.  This is a very good idea because it provides documentation outlining the accommodations and supports agreed upon and should outline S.M.A.R.T. goals for the student.  The teams should meet regularly (usually once a month at first, and then less frequently as the student requires less support) to discuss the student's progress and make changes to the SSP as needed.  An SSP is a "living document", which means it changes along with the student as their needs and goals change.  

We recommend co-parents attend SSP meetings together if possible, or that a caregiver bring a support person along.  These meetings can be intimidating and overwhelming, so a support person can help take notes and provide moral support. 

 

What Else Can Parents Do?  

Depending on the child's diagnosis and needs, there may be other interventions to assist.  Some of these may be:

• Occupational Therapy (OT)

• Individual or Family Counselling

• Sensory Supports (such as fidget/sensory toys)

• Medication and/or paediatric oversight if appropriate

 

A note on professional services: 

ADHD 2e (and many experts) strongly recommends seeking out child-centred services that focus on: 

• Highlighting and building on your child's strengths (strengths-based supports)
• Helping you, your family, and your child see, appreciate, and foster these strengths 
• Clinicians/professionals who support neurodiverse children to love and accept themselves for who they are and give them the tools to self-advocate
• Avoid professionals who try to "fix" or "cure" a child's neurodiversity, or try to "train" humans to "act normal" 
• Professionals who help you and your child develop skills and strategies for managing the challenges that we can encounter due to neurodiversity 
• Important:  These skills & tools should be those that make the child's life easier, not others'.  Avoid professionals who encourage masking or forcing the child to adapt to neurotypical expectations

 
If your child sees a GP and does not yet have a paediatrician, we recommend getting a referral.  Here in Manitoba paediatricians are hard to come by, but if you have the option, ask your GP to send in a referral.  In Manitoba you can also register for the Find-A-Doctor service if you do not have one.  

There are also a number of community organizations with a variety of services, depending on your child's needs.  The psychologist who did the assessment and/or your division's social worker should be able to provide some resources for you, and many such services can be found online.  ADHD 2e has also compiled a number of local and online resources on our website.    

The next two most important things that we can do for our children are these:

Educate yourselves, your family, and your child's school.  You know your child best, and now you are getting to know them even better.  This will strengthen your relationship.  

Love your child unconditionally, show them with both words and actions that you love and accept them for exactly who they are.  Allow them to be their authentic selves and show them you appreciate all of who they are.  We are so lucky to have these incredible, unique individuals in our lives.  They will teach us a lot.  We will learn a lot.  What we want children to learn is that they are loved, understood, and accepted.  Nothing is more important than a sense of security and belonging.  

That is not to say that this journey is easy.  We all experience daily challenges and times when we really don't appreciate our child's behaviour.  There are extreme highs and lows.  Be compassionate with your child and with yourself.  Seek out your community, a support network, and take care of each other.  

 

Seeking a Diagnosis?

If you suspect your child may have ADHD, but haven't begun the process of seeking an assessment and possible diagnosis, ADHD 2e Pro has created a page outlining some of the options available for next steps you can take. 

Resources

Please visit our website for a list of ADHD resources available in Manitoba, as well as online resources.

If you need further assistance advocating for or supporting your child, please do not hesitate to contact us.  We are here to help.  

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How Do I Advocate for My Child?

How Can I Effectively Advocate For My Neurodiverse Child at School? 

 

If your child seems to be needing additional support at school, do not hesitate to reach out to the support team.  Positive communication between the school and home is one of the greatest predictors of success for children's education, and the earlier the better.  Don't wait for something big to happen and then react, be proactive.  If your child has had struggles in the past, be open and honest about them.  Let the teacher know what has worked well for your child in the past so that the school can be prepared to support the student and set them up for success.  The school support team usually consists of their teacher, the school principal, the resource teacher, and the guidance counsellor.  If your child has an SSP/IEP, or has required in-school support in the past, this team may also include the division's school psychologist and social worker.  These people are usually awesome, so please do not be intimidated by or worried about their involvement unless or until given a reason to be.  

First and foremost, start with the assumption that everyone is doing the best they can with the tools, skills, and resources available to them.  If your child's needs are not being met, you may just need to sit down with the classroom teacher and resource professional and discuss how they can help.  If more involvement is needed, then go ahead and ask for it, then proceed with the assumption that everyone has your child's best interests in mind.  Start with open dialogue and a desire to be collaborative.  Aim to work as a team to do what is best for your child, then check in frequently to ensure the plans are being put into place, and to see how they are going.  Teachers may currently be feeling too overwhelmed, or may not want to "bother" you and ask for ideas, but if you initiate conversation they will likely be more than willing to converse and ask questions.  Most teachers have a desire to help each student flourish and a desire to get to know them better. 

Be patient with your child's school, but do not accept less for your child because there is a pandemic.  Children with disabilities need even greater advocacy during this time, not less.  While the focus is primarily on physical health, as it must be, we cannot lose sight of children's mental health.  Children with disabilities deserve, need, and must be treated as equally valuable and important members of their communities, and this includes their school community.  

If you need help advocating for your child, below is a guideline for getting the process started.  If you are unsure as to the procedure to follow, check your division's website as they may have an organizational chart or concern procedure posted.  We have posted a suggested protocol on our website as well.  

 

When More is Needed 

1. After meeting with your child's teacher and resource professional, send an email thanking them for meeting with you and summarizing the next steps agreed upon to support your child.  End your email expressing your willingness and desire to help in any way you can and invite them to contact you (and/or your child's co-parent) with any questions.  
2. If this does not bring about a resolution, and you've tried working with the teacher, next contact your school's principal, in writing.  If you speak on the phone or in person, take notes and follow up with an email summarizing your conversation so that you have documentation of the communication.  Ask for concrete steps that will be taken, as well as timelines, and follow up on these.  
3. We suggest maintaining a record of communication with school staff and other professionals when advocating for your child.  This is to help parents keep contacts with professionals organized and to visualize the efforts parents are making on behalf of their children.  
4. If you have a school support team, you may seek their input as well.  As mentioned, this team may include a school psychologist, resource teacher, guidance counsellor, or social worker.  These professionals are there to advocate for and support the students, so please do not hesitate to seek out their help and expertise.  
5. If at any point in this process you feel you need a support person to attend a meeting with you, that is your right.  It can be intimidating and overwhelming to meet with school teams, so it may be helpful to have someone you trust along for moral support, or even to take notes so that you can review them later once emotions have settled.  
6. If you have tried working with the teacher and principal and are not satisfied, contact the principal's next-in-charge.  For some divisions this is a Director of Student Services.  This may differ by region, but your school division's website should have a guide for parents for escalating concerns.  If not, they may have an organizational chart outlining the roles and responsibilities of each team member.  
7. If you are not satisfied, and have tried your best with the principal and Director of Student Services, next contact your division's Assistant Superintendent.  Maintain documentation.  This is not to be combative or confrontational in any way, good documentation will help you stay organized during a stressful time and may be important to reference in the future.  
8. If you are not satisfied, contact your division's Superintendent.  As you will have been in contact with other divisional senior administration, it is likely they will have already been made aware of your concerns.  

On the Manitoba Education website, they have a formal dispute resolution protocol listed.  This may look slightly different across provinces.  

The Ministry of Education website also has a brochure called Working Together: A Parent's Guide to Formal Dispute Resolution

It has been our experience that many people within the system either don't know this process, or don't guide parents to this information, meaning that parents and caregivers aren't provided the details on what steps to take next if they don't feel heard somewhere along the way.  It is available on the Student Services website  and we have also uploaded a PDF file of the brochure onto our website to help make it more widely available and accessible.  

In our experience, if you are not getting the help you need from your school's senior administration, or if the problem is such that it requires assistance from someone with greater authority, these may be the next steps to take:  

1. Parents have the right to hire or contact an advocate.  This can be a private advocate the family hires on their child's behalf, or a non-profit organization that can assist.  The Manitoba Advocate also plays a role in advocating for children in the public education system.  They are an independent office, visit their website to learn more about their role in advocating for children and youth.  
2. If you are not satisfied, you can then file a formal complaint with your division's board of trustees.  Each division has a different board of trustees which should be listed on your school division's website.  School trustees are elected officials whose prime responsibility is to function as a board to set policy regarding the provision of educational services.  
3. If no resolution can be found at this level, families in our province can contact the Inclusion Support Branch of Manitoba's Department of Education.  
4. If none of these processes brings about a satisfactory resolution, families can bring their concerns right to the Minister of Education.  A Minister of Education is an elected Member of the Legislative Assembly (MLA) who is then appointed a portfolio based on their qualifications and experience, such as the ministry of education and training.  They are your representative at the Provincial level.  
5. If you are unsatisfied with both your Division's School Board and the Ministry's response, you can then formally request that the Minister appoint a 3-person committee to review the board's decision.  You may also wish to involve your region's MLA as a local representative in the Legislative.  Elections Canada has a handy online search tool for finding your MLA based on your home or school locations.  
6. Another option is to contact your local Legal Aid office, or to hire an Education Lawyer.  Hiring a lawyer privately would be a very expensive option.  If you are unable to get assistance and have gotten this far, we strongly recommend hiring a professional advocate before exploring the legal route.  If you've gotten this far, you may also consider changing your child's school or exploring other options for meeting their academic needs.  

You are entitled to apply for a school of choice, either within another division, or outside your school's division altogether.  You are also entitled to homeschool your child if you feel this is in their best interest.  Remember, your child's mental health and psychological well-being are more important than academic achievement.  Students can catch up on missed work, but the psychological impact of being mistreated in school can be much more significant.  

Keep Calm and Advocate On

With all that said, sometimes teachers don't have the time, support, resources, or experience to provide the support needed.  This may not be their fault, they may need more support from their school leadership, from their resource and guidance departments, or from their division.  Education in Manitoba (and in Canada) is sorely under-funded, so resources are always stretched thin.  In fact, teachers may be playing the part of a professional when they ask for your patience, but inside they may be nearly as frustrated as you are.  Most educators wish they had unlimited resources so they could pull out all the stops for every single student in every single class.  

Especially at this time when they are already stressed due to Coronavirus concerns, teachers are overwhelmed and overworked.  Please be compassionate toward yourself, your child, and their school support team.   

When you feel yourself getting heated, save that email in your drafts folder and come back to it after at least 24 hours, or send it to yourself or a close friend first.  Seek advice from an unbiased person you trust, seek support from your co-parent and/or close friends and vent to them first, rather than in an email to the school.  Remember that it is in the best interest of your child to get along with their school, so do your very best to communicate in a calm, respectful, and cooperative manner.  This may not always be easy, so seek support when you need it.  

This process can be incredibly long, stressful, arduous, and taxing.  And while all of these meetings and formal disputes are happening, children are still suffering and not receiving the support they need.  So in the mean time, parents may choose to homeschool, or move their child to a different school that may be better equipped to meet their needs.  

Parents & caregivers:  Find a support network.  Find one now and lean on them.  Whether it be other families who have children with disabilities, trusted neighbours, close friends, family members, whomever.  Don't forget to take care of yourself.  This system was designed for "typical" students and is not set up for those outside the "norm".  There have been small steps toward improvement over the past decade, but progress is very slow and change takes too long, so gather your village and support each other because we are better parents and advocates when we are in a good place ourselves.  Be kind to yourselves and to each other.  

Plan for The Future 

As your child grows older, and as is developmentally appropriate, they will need to develop self-advocacy skills in order to speak up for themselves.  

Developing these skills begins with understanding their own neurodiversity, how it impacts them, what their strengths are, and what specific supports they find helpful.  This way they know what to ask for when they do need help.  

As they mature, our children will need to learn how to advocate for themselves in a respectful yet confident way.  This means learning what their rights are, standing up for them, yet taking personal responsibility where appropriate.  It's a difficult balance that most of us are still working on as adults, but these skills will be very important for our children in their future endeavours.  

Please visit our website for a list of ADHD Resources available in Manitoba.  

If you need assistance advocating for your child, contact us and we can recommend and provide resources or arrange services.  

Children with Disabilities are NOT an Afterthought

September 15, 2020 update:  Karen Sharma, Executive Director of The Manitoba Human Rights Commission, has written and shared an open letter to Kelvin Goertzen, Minister of Education in Manitoba.  

This letter outlines the rights of students with disabilities as they relate to Covid-19 while in class, hybrid and/or distance learning, and ensuring accommodations are being met wherever and however students may be learning.  

Originally posted on August 29, 2020

Children with disabilities can not, should not, and will not be an afterthought

With schools and divisions working very hard to prepare for a return to classes this Fall amidst Coronavirus concerns, individuals and budgets are stretched to their limits.  This is an unprecedented time, and no doubt very stressful for many parents, children, and education staff.  

This blog post is not in any way intended as a knock on teachers, who are doing the very best they can with paltry budgets, very limited resources, and poor government support.  

This issue is much larger, and stems from a lack of provincial funding for education in Manitoba, and in Canada.  

On August 24, 2020, the Province of Manitoba announced an "additional" (so-called additional, not but not really, and I'll explain why...) $52 million in funding to "focus on putting in place the public health measures needed to keep students and staff as safe as possible while learning."  

So, why is this not really and truly additional funding?  Because the money is not presently in the pockets of the school divisions.  It is funding that is earmarked for schools, but each school has to apply for grants, prove and explain why they need the funding, and then cross their fingers and hope they get it...  eventually.  

This does not help schools now, when they desperately need it the most.  Parents are, understandably, asking schools a million and one questions and unfortunately schools don't have the answers because the province haven't given them enough information.  Parents, teachers, and students need plans right now, not in a few months' time, and they can't plan for funding they don't yet have and may not receive.  

How can parents possibly send their children to school when they don't know what it's going to look like?  

And here's the kicker: If parents of children with special needs don't want to send their children back to school yet, because they feel the school is unprepared, or they don't have enough information to feel confident in sending them, and decide to homeschool them?  Well, then the school loses the funding for that child, because they're not registered and in class.  So, if and when that student is ready to return, their school will have to re-apply and wait for their funding all over again.  It's a catch-22, it's not fair, and it disproportionately impacts children with special needs and their families.  

This isn't supposed to happen.  Legally, this isn't even allowed to happen.  

There have been Supreme Court Decisions (Moore vs. B.C., 2012), as well as the United Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities, that have decreed this should not, and legally cannot, happen.  A fantastic summary on the implications of these is available on the Inclusive Education Canada website.  

Key points from this article include:

• “adequate special education is not “a dispensable luxury.”
• “human rights law requires education providers to make their services accessible to persons with disabilities."
• "the CRPD prohibits discrimination against children with disabilities and mandates the right to inclusive education."

Most relevant to our current situation is this: 

"School districts in Canada must take a proactive approach to budgeting and programming, to ensure that the rights of students with disabilities to accommodation are taken into account. Appropriate budgeting by provincial governments is also crucial. School districts make program choices within budgetary envelopes determined by provincial governments. Children and families must be ensured of their right to the benefits of public education in an inclusive community or neighbourhood school."

Note the word proactive.  Children with disabilities are not, should not, and can not be an afterthought.  Both provincial and divisional budgeting must include their needs, schools must be considerate of these needs when planning for our return to school next week.  

Manitoba's stated philosophy of inclusion falls far short of this and is very weak in comparison to the statements made in the CRPD.  

I understand that this is an incredibly challenging and unprecedented situation. However, that is even more true for persons with disabilities and their families, so the coronavirus is no excuse to continue putting their needs on the back-burner.  

Children with disabilities deserve, need, and must be treated as equally valuable and important members of their communities, including their school community.  They have every right to appropriate access to education, and parents are exhausted and tired of having to fight for this every step of the way. It's long past time for our provincial government and school divisions to step up and carry more of this responsibility, because parents and families cannot do it alone, and children should not continue to suffer due to poor funding and poor planning.  

If you need help advocating for your child, ensure you have done the following: 

1. Contact your school's principal, in writing.  If you speak on the phone or in person, take notes and follow up with an email summarizing your conversation so that you have documentation of the communication. 
2. If you have a school support team, you may seek their input as well.  This may include a school psychologist, resource teacher, guidance counsellor, or social worker.  
3. If you are not satisfied, contact the principal's next-in-charge.  For some divisions this is a Director of Student Services.  
4. If you are not satisfied, contact your division's Assistant Superintendent.  
5. If you are not satisfied, contact your division's Superintendent.  If you have been in contact with other divisional senior administration, it is likely they will have been aware of your concerns.  

On the Manitoba Education website, they have a formal dispute resolution protocol listed.  This may look slightly different for each division.  In our experience, these are the next steps to take:  

1. Parents have the right to hire or contact an advocate.  This can be a private advocate the family hires on their child's behalf, or a non-profit organization that can assist.  The Manitoba Advocate also plays a role in advocating for children in the public education system.  
2. If you are not satisfied, you can then file a formal complaint with your division's board of trustees.  Each division has a different board of trustees which should be listed on your school division's website.  
3. If no resolution can be found at this level, families can contact the Inclusion Support Branch of Manitoba's Department of Education.  
4. Finally, if none of these processes brings about a satisfactory resolution, families can bring their concerns right to the Minister of Education.  A Minister of Education is an elected Member of the Legislative Assembly (MLA) who is then appointed a portfolio based on their qualifications and experience, such as the ministry of education and training.  They are your representative at the Provincial level.  

This process can be incredibly long, stressful, arduous, and taxing.  And while all of these meetings and formal disputes are happening, children are still suffering and not receiving the support they need.  So in the mean time, parents may choose to homeschool, or move their child to a different school that may be better equipped to meet their needs.  

Parents & caregivers:    Find a support network.  Find one now and lean on them.  Whether it be other families who have children with disabilities, trusted neighbours, close friends, family members, whomever.  Don't forget to take care of yourself.  This system was designed for "typical" students and is not set up for those outside the "norm".  There have been small steps toward improvement over the past decade, but progress is slow and change takes too long, so gather your village and support each other because we are better parents and advocates when we ourselves are in a good place.  

Be kind to yourself and to each other, we're in this together.  

If you need assistance advocating for your child, contact us and we can recommend and provide resources, arrange services, or provide referrals.  

About the Author

Jillian is an ADHD 2e Coach and Child Advocate in Manitoba, Canada.

Jillian has a diploma in Child & Youth Work and a Degree in Psychology, as well as being the parent of an amazing 2e/ADHD child.

Visit ADHDPro.ca and Facebook.com/ADHD2ePro to learn more.

September 15, 2020 update:  Karen Sharma, Executive Director of The Manitoba Human Rights Commission, has written and shared an open letter to Kelvin Goertzen, Minister of Education in Manitoba.  This letter outlines the rights of students with disabilities as they relate to Covid-19 while in class, hybrid and/or distance learning, and ensuring accommodations are being met wherever and however students may be learning.  

When a Diagnosis is More Than Just a Label

"A diagnosis can help people find their cohorts, which in turn helps them to feel less alone."

When a diagnosis of ADHD is much more than just a label

 

Understandably, sometimes parents or caregivers are anxious about pursuing an assessment or diagnosis for their child because they are afraid of their child being labelled: Afraid of teachers or peers making assumptions about their child and not giving them a chance.  There is, of course, this risk with any diagnosis.  

However, if a child is struggling enough in their life that parents are considering intervention, then I would posit that some teachers, adults, and peers may already be making judgements based on the child's behaviour.  Worse, that child may be making harsh judgements of themselves, and without an explanation, they and others may blame those struggles solely on the child.  

Resources & Treatment

When a diagnosis of ADHD is made by a qualified professional, it can open up a world of information for families.  Once we have an understanding of what we are dealing with, we can educate ourselves, and we can find out what resources are out there for us to access.  We can develop skills and tools to manage the challenging parts of neurodiversity to make life easier for ourselves, and most importantly, for our children.  

A diagnosis also allows students to receive appropriate supports at school.  Where we live, we have something called an SSP (Student-Specific Plan), formerly called an IEP (Individualized Education Plan).  In the U.S. they also have IEPs as well as a 504 plan.  

 

 

Whatever the name of the document, the intent is for adults who care about and support the student (i.e. principal, teacher, guidance counsellor, school psychologist, parents) to meet and discuss ways in which the student is struggling, and then develop child-centered plans for meeting that student's needs.  

We can also seek treatment.  Whether in the form of counselling, an ADHD coach, pharmacological intervention (a.k.a. meds), once we have a diagnosis we can see what often works for others with the same diagnosis and try them out for ourselves.  

 

Self-Esteem

 

Many children with ADHD already struggle with low self-esteem.  If they are not taught that their ADHD is a nuerodivergence and are given the message (either intentionally or unintentionally) that their struggles are their own fault, this can truly wreak havoc on their self-image.  A diagnosis can help the child realize "oh, so that's what is different about me, it's not my fault!"  We usually need to help children come to this viewpoint, many will not get there on their own, especially if they've already begun to develop a negative self-concept.  We have to guide them to see that their brain is different and this will sometimes make certain things harder, and at times it can be a superpower.  

The more we provide support and help children develop skills and tools to manage their symptoms, the more success they will experience, and the better their self-image will become.  This will also set students up for better success in the future because they will have the scaffolding beneath them that will allow them to internalize and then utilize these skills independently.  

 

Understanding & Empathy

 

Not only can a diagnosis help a person understand themselves better, it can help others understand and support them more effectively.  As parents, there are times in our lives when we ask "why on earth would you do that?!"  Sometimes (but not always, sorry!) a diagnosis helps answer that question.  

Understanding and knowledge help us to be more compassionate toward children when their behaviours are challenging and test our patience.  They can help us see things from the child's perspective, which allows us to be more empathic.  So many children with ADHD desperately need more understanding and compassion from the people in their lives, and this starts with adults being better educated about ADHD and neurodiversity.  

 

A Community  

"You have ADHD?  Me too!"  A diagnosis can help people find their cohorts, which in turn helps them to feel less alone.  Just search for ADHD hashtags on social media and you will find a community of people supporting and accepting each other and celebrating their neurodiversity.  

#Neurodiversesquad (founded by Dani Donovan), #ADHDTwitter, and #NeuroTwitter to name but a few.  

There are various online and in-person groups that families can join to find others who are on a similar journey.  Knowing others are in the same boat can be very validating.  

One of the most important feelings in childhood is a sense of belonging, of being accepted and liked for who you are.  

Let's be honest, that's one of the most important feelings in adult life too. 

 

Seeking a Diagnosis?

If you suspect your child may have ADHD, but haven't begun the process of seeking a diagnosis, ADHD 2e Pro has created a page outlining some of the options available for next steps you can take.  

October is ADHD Awareness Month

Each year, the Centre for ADHD Awareness, Canada (caddac.ca/adhd) hosts an ADHD conference.  Due to Coronavirus restrictions, this year's conference will be held entirely online, but this makes it more accessible for those who cannot travel.  

Last year, the CADDAC created a series of videos called "ADHD and Me" aimed at children to help them understand ADHD better from a kid's point of view.  There are a series of "ADHD Speaks" videos from adolescents and adults with ADHD as well.  

 

About the Author

Jillian is an ADHD 2e Coach and Child Advocate in Manitoba, Canada.

Jillian has a diploma in Child & Youth Work and a Degree in Psychology, as well as being the parent of an amazing 2e/ADHD child.

Visit ADHDPro.ca and Facebook.com/ADHD2ePro to learn more.

  

7 Ways ADHD is Misunderstood

Seven (of the many) ways in which ADHD is about so much more than difficulty sitting still. 

"But he can focus on things he enjoys for hours at a time!" 

That was my own reaction when the school psychologist gently suggested that we learn more about ADHD to see if we wish to have our son assessed.  

Despite my degrees in Social Work and Psychology, I actually knew very little about the complexity of ADHD and the myriad of ways it can impact peoples' lives.  Having not been in University since 2009, it was certainly time to update and increase my knowledge.  Fast forward a year and a half and both our son and myself have been formally diagnosed (me at age 36! - My son by the school psychologist and his pediatrician, and myself by a psychiatrist specializing in Adult ADHD).  

Little did I know that this hyperfocus was also part of ADHD and that hyperactivity and inattentiveness are just two parts of a very complex disorder that Dr. Russell Barkley explains is not actually a disorder of attention, it's a disorder of regulation.

Following up on my previous post on the seven executive abilities that are impacted by ADHD, which Dr. Barkley reviewed in a recent podcast discussing Adult ADHD.  I wrote a separate blog post on this specific podcast, which you can read here.  

I have reframed and expanded on each of them below, relating them to struggles in children rather than adults.   

ADHD Results in a Deficit in Executive Functions:

1. Impulse Control.  The ability to STOP.  The ability to pause between the action and reaction.  The ability to pause before responding.
  "Response inhibition refers to the ability to withhold a cognitive or behavioural impulse that may be inaccurate or maladaptive." (Barkley, 2015).  
   
   Children are particularly vulnerable to this because their prefrontal cortex (important in decision making) is not yet fully developed, and even neurotypical children are impulsive.  Children with ADHD are thought to be approximately 30% behind their peers in PFC development, making the "stop and think" process even more difficult.  
   
   
2. Hindsight.  The ability to think about previous relevant information and use past experience to guide your current response. 
"Working memory deficits may adversely affect the social functioning of children with ADHD." (Kofler et al., 2011).  
   
   "Hmm, last time I did this... and this happened...  so maybe I should try...  this instead?"
   
   While most children with ADHD have average or above-average IQ (many are twice exceptional), learning from past experiences is more challenging when there are differences in the way they store and later access information as memories.  
   
   
3. Foresight.  Thinking ahead to longer-term consequences of your current behaviour before acting.  
   
   Children with ADHD have greater difficulty predicting possible outcomes of their choices and have greater difficulty connecting current behaviour with future consequences.  This means that delayed consequences such as detention, suspension, grounding, removal of future privileges, etc. are not likely to be effective in changing undesired behaviour.  Intervention, guidance, and support have to happen at the point of performance (meaning at the location and in the moment the behaviour is occurring). 
   
   Similarly, reinforcing positive behaviours must also occur at the point of performance, so we must make efforts to "catch" the child being good and not only be on the look out for negative behaviours.  
   
   
   
   
   
   Children with ADHD often struggle with low self-esteem and are often blamed for their disability.  Many children with ADHD internalize the constant negative messages from others, believing that it is their fault rather than being taught that their brains are wired differently.    
   
   So often I hear adults ask (and yes, I have heard myself say it!) "why isn't he learning from these consequences?"  That is why.  Impulsivity combined with a deficit in both hindsight and foresight (also referred to as working memory) make it very difficult for children with ADHD to learn from past mistakes without compassionate, non-judgemental support and guidance.  
   
   
   This means that a neurological difference is responsible for difficulty learning from consequences, not a desire to be "bad", and not from a lack of a desire to be "good".  
   
   
4. Self-talk.  Self-directed language to facilitate self-control.  
(Also referred to as verbal working memory or inner speech). 
   
   This is our inner monologue and refers to how we talk to ourselves inside our head to guide our decisions and remind ourselves of things we need to do.  Children start out having these conversations out loud when they are very young and as they mature these conversations gradually become internalized.  
   
   Each person's experience with ADHD is different, however ADHD experts such as Dr. Russell Barkley explain that the capacity for self-talk is less-developed and also develops later in life in people with ADHD.  The ability to talk to oneself in a positive and helpful way impacts one's self-esteem, memory, motivation, and decision-making.  Challenges with this executive function can have a significant impact on daily functioning.  
   
   
5. Emotional regulation.  The ability to manage one’s emotions to make them more socially acceptable.  

Our emotions are our motivation.  
   
   So, if a child with ADHD has "big feelings" (or emotional dysregulation), then they cannot entirely control the resulting behaviour.  They first need help with managing the feelings and developing self-regulation skills, only then can the behaviour change follow.  
   
   
   We don't hand a kid a basketball and expect them to sink a basket their first try, we teach them skills first.  Why, then, do we expect children to have the skills to manage their emotions if they haven't been taught?  
   

6. Self-Motivation.  Children with ADHD are dependant on the environment and its immediate consequences.
   
   
   This means that we, the adults, have to help them develop tools for self-reinforcing, especially (hopefully only - more on why below) for tasks they find less desirable.
   
   

   Addressing the presenting behaviour only "trains" a person to comply and do what is being asked of them, completely ignoring the underlying struggle that really needs to be addressed.

   
   

   For example, if we start a token economy system in the classroom or at home, it's highly important to involve the child(ren) as much as possible and give them as much ownership and control over the program as possible.  It is even more important that we gradually transition complete ownership and control of the program over to the child(ren) or students, once they are ready for this step.  
   
   Children and students need to find what is reinforcing for them, not have the adults decide what their rewards are, and they eventually need to be able to run this program for themselves so that they can do it on their own when they no longer have a teacher or parent's support.  
   
   Sound a little strange?  Think about the ways you do this for yourself in your own life.  
   
   "I had a good workout today, I'll reward myself with a beer"
   
   "I got in all my steps today, I think I've earned a little dessert"
   
   "After I finish this chore, I'll put my feet up and read a book" 
   
   

   Author's Note:  In my opinion, token economies should be used sparingly, and should only be used for undesirable tasks such as chores or homework, and should never be used to address behaviour challenges.  

   
   

   The reason for this is because behavioural problems come from a lack of skill, a lack of coping strategies, and/or underlying issues or concerns.  Addressing the presenting behaviour only "trains" a person to comply and do what is being asked of them, completely ignoring the underlying struggle that really needs to be addressed.  It's a bandaid solution because it does not teach skills or provide emotional support, and it puts the onus on the child, rather than on the competent adult with a fully developed prefrontal cortex.  

   
   

   

   
   

   For more on the problems with behaviourism and behaviour modification, Alfie Kohn wrote a blog post on the topic, as well as books on the subject called "Punished by Rewards" and "Unconditional Parenting".  

   
   

   But I digress....  Back to the List...  Now, where was I?  Oh yes!

7. The ability to plan and problem solve.  The ability to simulate multiple possible future options is the highest executive function in humans.  
   
   The ability to quickly run through multiple "hypothetical situations" in our mind, and then the ability to quickly change course when we run into a problem or when one of our options fails.  
   
   A lot of children (and adults) with ADHD struggle with cognitive flexibility (or flexible thinking).  When we have our mind set on something happening a certain way and that changes, it can be very difficult for us to adapt.  This is also a common struggle for people with anxiety, a comorbid condition with ADHD (meaning they commonly occur together).  Sometimes people with anxiety need to mentally prepare themselves for a situation, then if circumstances change this can greatly increase their anxiety because they haven't had an opportunity to mentally prepare.  

Important to note:

• Children with undiagnosed, untreated, or inadequately treated ADHD are 30% behind their peers when it comes to executive functioning.

2021 Note:  This was our most popular blog post in 2020, so we decided to expand upon this concept and have added a new blog about Common ADHD Myths.  

References 

Barkley, Russell A. (2015). Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: A Handbook for Diagnosis & Treatment. The Guilford Press.  

Kofler, M. J., Rapport, M.D., Bolden, J., Server, D.E., Raiker, J.S., & Alderson, R.M. (2011). Working memory deficits and social problems in children with ADHD. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 39, 805-817. 

About the Author

Jillian is an ADHD 2e Coach and Child Advocate in Manitoba, Canada.

Jillian has a diploma in Child & Youth Work and a Degree in Psychology, as well as being the parent of an amazing 2e/ADHD child.

Visit ADHDPro.ca and Facebook.com/ADHD2ePro to learn more.