And Then There Were 2(e)

...And Then There Were Two Along for the Journey

Our son was diagnosed with ADHD in March of 2019, then assessed as being cognitively gifted in June of 2019. A diagnosis of gifted+ (gifted, plus another diagnosis) is commonly referred to as "twice exceptional", or 2e (more links about what it means to be 2e at the bottom of this post). 

After our son was diagnosed, I took it upon myself to learn everything I possibly could about ADHD that I hadn't learned in school. I quickly realized that my 10-year-old psych degree and 13-year-old CYW diploma were not nearly enough to make me an expert on the topic, so I made it my mission.

I am working on another blog post with a list of book recommendations based on the books I have read thus far. 

It didn't take me long to notice a lot of similarity between my son's symptoms and struggles and my own, which is not entirely surprising, as ADHD is highly genetic and very commonly found in multiple family members. (Recently we shared blog post from ADHD Rollercoaster on our Facebook page about another mom's similar experience). 

I spoke to my family doctor and received a referral to a psychiatrist who specializes in Adult ADHD. In October 2019 I received my own official diagnosis. When I told my son he said "I already knew you had ADHD, Mom"! We had spent the previous seven months learning everything we could together and he was becoming increasingly knowledgeable and self-aware. My observant little dude had already noticed the many similarities between us.

Now that I, too, am more self-aware I can't believe I didn't realize this earlier. For example, this not-very-long blog post took more than three hours pieced together throughout the day to complete. Not because I couldn't think of what to write, but because once I started writing I suddenly realized I had to to all of the things. I mentioned my book list, so I had to go and update it. Then I needed (wanted) a cup of coffee, which reminded me that I had only halfway finished the dishes in the sink, so I (mostly) finished those. Then I remembered I had meant to take the recycling out and put in some laundry, so I did that too, and so on. 

It isn't a matter of procrastination, this blog is a labour of love, and I have no reason to do it other than because I want to. My extreme multi-tasking happens because one action or thought reminds me of another, and before I know it I have seven half-finished tasks on the go. Luckily I eventually (usually) finish them all and this process seems to (mostly) work for me, but that's after many years of developing strategies and essentially becoming used to how my brain works. There was definitely a time in my life when those seven tasks would all remain half-finished and I would just keep starting new ones as the mood struck. I'm also still very forgetful, often misplace things, and rely heavily on technology to keep organized. 

The thing is, this has also been my superpower, and has probably helped me be a successful entrepreneur for the past 10+ years. I started my own business from the ground up in 2010 and turned it into a profitable full-time job for myself, as well as creating part-time jobs for a handful of employees. I have succeeded in part because of outside-the-box thinking, very common amongst 2e/ADHD folks, which helps me solve problems in ways that others may not think of. I am a master of hyperfocus, which can be both a help and a hazard for people with ADHD. I can set my sights on a work-related task and not come up for air until it is done. My son is like this as well, when he's reading a book I could tell him his hair was on fire and he would mumble "okay" and continue reading. He's not ignoring me on purpose (most of the time anyway), hyperfocus is a coping mechanism that some people with ADHD develop as a way of preventing themselves from being so easily distracted. 

Like my son, I was identified as gifted during my school years, but for me it was much later because our small town did not have any gifted programming in elementary schools. In high school I was enrolled in what was then called an "enriched" program for academically inclined students. So, why didn't I struggle in school like many who have ADHD? Well, I did, but not in the way that made anyone suspect anything other than a precocious and energetic child.

Sure, I had trouble sitting still in kindergarten, but what 5 year old doesn't? I was often sent to sit away from the group during story time because I couldn't sit and listen without fidgeting, but when I was school-aged that was just seen as misbehaviour and punished and that was the end of it. (In hindsight, this was probably the worst thing for me because fidgeting helped me truly hear and comprehend the story, whereas being sent back to my desk probably resulted in me doing something entirely different and not listening to the story at all). 

One of the challenges for twice exceptional students is that their giftedness can often mask the symptoms and struggles caused by other diagnoses, and doing well in school often means no one takes notice of other difficulties because the students seem to be just "fine". They may be doing well academically, but they may have to work twice as hard to do so, and there are more important considerations when measuring a person's success.

Twice exceptional students may have executive functioning challenges and frequently pull all-nighters in order to get their assignments in on time (which, of course, I did). Having to pull all-nighters does not a diagnosis make, but pervasive executive functioning difficulties, such as difficulty with organization and time management, can lead to a student feeling overwhelmed. Frequent all-nighters can lead to a sleep-deprived student unable to absorb information in class because of exhaustion, as well as other quality of life issues due to fatigue and stress. 

This also presents challenges at home, work, and in all of our relationships, including our own self-perceptions.  I admit to, on a daily basis, having unrealistic expectations of both myself and my son.  My 7 year old son presents as so asynchronous that in one day he can read an entire 600-page novel meant for 10-12 year olds and yet can't seem to go upstairs and brush his teeth and get ready for bed in an orderly fashion.  He can seem so mature that I expect so much of him, but then I am forced to remember that intellectual maturity is a completely separate entity from emotional maturity and executive functioning.  

Despite many experts providing a wealth of information on ADHD, we are still in the early stages of public awareness and education, and even earlier with regards to twice exceptionality. I completed a 3-year Diploma in Youth Work as well as a BA in Psychology, and worked in the social services field for 10 years, and still had never heard the term 2e until my son was diagnosed.

If you suspect you or your child might have ADHD, speak to your doctor or mental health professional about your questions or concerns.  There is a lot of great information posted on the Centre for ADHD Awareness Canada's website and I will post additional links below.  

If you or someone in your life is struggling to get the supports they need, please visit ADHDPro.ca to see if we can help.  If we can't, we're always happy to provide referrals to additional resources.  

Further reading...

Learn more about ADHD:

CADDAC - The Centre for ADHD Awareness, Canada

Understood.org - Understood is an American website, so some references to educational rights and laws will not be applicable, but it is a fantastic resource for information on ADHD and neurodiversity in general.

Learn more about Twice Exceptionality:

7 Myths About Twice Exceptional (2e) Students

Twice Exceptional Students

Twice Exceptional Kids: Both Gifted and Challenged

With Understanding Comes Calm

TECA - Twice Exceptional Children's Advocacy

Learn more about Gifted Children:

National Association for Gifted Children

Social Emotional Needs of the Gifted

About the Author

Jillian is an ADHD 2e Coach and Child Advocate in Manitoba, Canada.

Visit ADHDPro.ca and Facebook.com/ADHD2ePro to learn more.